Because I love my Lovie!

June 19, 2008, 12:00 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

so I love you!

I haven’t posted in a while, but I figured I’d post a link to my new gallery, so that way you can track my photo exploits, since I seem to be photographing my way through life lately.


February 16, 2008, 8:36 pm
Filed under: ken

It’s odd. Just when I think I am getting life back under control, something happens. Something that makes me realize that life isn’t perfect.

 I am a perfectionist, you see. Last year was horrible for me. I tried too hard, and subsequently messed everything up. This year, I vowed to not try so hard and see what would happen. Things started coming together. It was amazing.

 People often give me shit about Ken and I. How we are not meant to be. How we don’t work. As if they think that these things aren’t ever on my mind. They are. The problem is, I see this WONDERFUL person, who has had some bad stuff happen to an already fragile ego. I guess, it is the caretaker in me. I see the broken, and really, I just want to fix it. 

It’s not even really that he is broken, its that he is not happy, and I can see little slices of the reasons. I want him to be happy. I want him to grow in to the amazingly wonderful, perfect person I know he can be. 

 How do you make someone see what they don’t want to/don’t know how to see?

January 21, 2008, 2:50 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

So, for those of you who haven’t heard me rave about it, Cheryl and I tried some new bath stuff while she was home it is made by <a href=””>Lush</a&gt;. Its handmade, fresh bath and shower stuff. Its awesome.


<a href=””>All that Jas</a> a bath bomb. It smells fantastic, even a while after the bath. It has just the right mixture of jasmine and vanilla to not be overwhelming. It also turns your bath water a pretty bluey-green. I highly approve.

<a href=””>Rock Star</a> a soap. It smells HELLA sweet. But is over all very awesome. It smells like candy and washes away really clean and doesn’t leave any sort of soapy residue. I approve

So yeah, thats my tubby time ravings for tonight 🙂 Soon, a post about my new room, its shaping up to be rather awesome.

Activist POST!
November 29, 2007, 3:45 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I know this doesn’t really affect anyone on my f-list, but it does affect me greatly. It appears that NYS is Lacking funding for preschool special ed programs, and the preschool that Sammy went to is on the verge of having to close. The teachers (including Miss Debbie) and staff there haven’t been paid in the month of November, they are essentially working for free.

If you don’t understand the importance of early education for special needs kids, a little bit of my story. Sammy is autistic. Sammy went in to early intervention, home based therapy at 2.5. He said no words, and made no eye contact with anyone. He had many self stimulating behaviors that included arm flapping and running in circles. This continued on until the following fall, when he became old enough (at 3) to move to a classroom setting. He started in Miss Debbie’s classroom that year. Two years later, he repeats almost every word you ask him to, and speaks some spontaneous words. He makes very good eye contact, and now engages people. He asks to play. He takes people’s hands and walks with them. He has come a long way, and I attribute a lot of it to the WONDERFUL care he received in his preschool program. Over Thanksgiving break, I took Sam to see Miss Debbie, and his other therapists at Pyramids, he was so happy to see them. He took his coat off and put it in his cubby, grabbed his favorite book, and sat with Miss Debbie on the couch in the classroom to read. I don’t even have to ask if sending him to school was the right decision.

Because of lack of funding, none of this might be possible for other kids like Sammy.

Does anyone want to help out, by sending an email to the powers-that-be in New York stressing the importance of early education for special needs children?

Does anyone want to help me write an email to the powers-that-be that doesn’t involve the f-word a lot?

The more people that chime in the better the chances are that they might listen.

If you want to help, leave me an email here, I can forward more details if you’d like, along with the email addresses that are needed.


October 27, 2007, 3:32 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Also, a topic for converstaion…

So, say you are at a small gathering of 6 or so people, who are all pretty good friends, and your SO says “Hey, my feet are cold, will you rub them to warm them up?” Is this demeaning? Is it rude?  How would you respond?

July 9, 2007, 3:42 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

The first meme is the dreaded 8 things meme!

  1. When I am stressed, I have crippling insomnia.
  2. I am mostly left handed. As a child, my mother decided that I was not to be left handed, so she would correct me by switching stuff to my right hand. It led to a lot of handedness confusion that I still carry with me today.
  3. I never learned to clip my own toenails until I moved out of my parents house. And even after that, I would go home often to make my mother do it. Feet are vile.
  4. I am actually incredibly insecure.
  5. I  am the only member of my family who is not straight.
  6. I was a cheerleader in high school, which amazes me now, because I am such a feminist.
  7. I have been diagnosed with no fewer than 6 types of mental illness, and been medicated for all of them. I am currently medication free.
  8. Someday, I want to join the circus.

Meme #2 is this odd food meme!

The second meme tells me to list out my top 5 places to eat at my location. But first I have to link folks who tagged me with their location and add mine to that.

I love you honey, but I don’t love five restaraunts.

And since I have no one to tag save for you and Ravyn…yeah 🙂

Jayna should update more.
June 23, 2007, 10:44 pm
Filed under: fox, ken, love, travel

I like wordpress. People don’t read my wordpress, save for a few. I am at home in Maryland today. A place I haven’t been all too often lately. Since returning from Missouri, I have been to Pittsburgh twice, and NY once. Next weekend I will be in Pittsburgh again.

Why Pittsburgh, you may ask?  I have friends there. People to make the sad and lonely go away. Having BOTH my SOs away is taking a toll on my spirit. As is my ever draining relationship with Ken. Some days are okay. Others, I believe to be an end. I love him. I love him enough that he often crushes the air from my lungs and makes me sob uncontrollably. Deep down, I know I am not what he wants. I patiently wait for the end. I could make it end, but I am not ready. I think making it end is something he needs to do. For both him and me. This makes me unhappy.

I believe Fox will be my enternal love. Never fading, never waivering. Just love. She knows me. Accepts me. Loves me. She is there when I need to mope, there when I am excited, there when I am drunk, always there. Sadly, always there and never here. Perhaps if we are ever in the same place, at the same time, for long enough, we can commence with our handfasting. I was hesitant before, because the idea was offputting to Ken. His opinion matters less, as his devotion fades. Hers remains loyal.

Later, perhaps, I will post about living on my own for the first time. For now, I think some Buffy.